ADHD in Women, Authenticity & Finding Your Voice with Dr. Zoe Rapoport

Join women's health psychologist and empowerment coach Dr. Zoe as she shares transformative insights on female empowerment and mental wellness. Learn how to reclaim your authentic voice and express yourself confidently without fear of judgment. Dr. Zoe guides women through practical strategies for setting healthy boundaries while staying true to themselves, and explains how assertiveness can enhance relationships rather than damage them.

Dive deep into women's ADHD, exploring why many receive late-life diagnoses and how executive functioning coaching can revolutionize daily task management. Dr. Zoe reveals how symptoms present uniquely in women compared to traditional male-centered diagnoses, offering hope and practical solutions for better cognitive management.

Key topics covered:

• Finding and amplifying your authentic voice
• Overcoming fear of self-expression
• Setting boundaries without guilt
• Managing ADHD as a woman
• Building authentic relationships through open communication
• Energy alchemy techniques for sustainable success
• Creating supportive networks for women entrepreneurs

Dr. Zoe is a licensed clinical and women's health psychologist in NYC.  She specializes in treating women’s health and gender issues, life transitions, relationship struggles, and anxiety.  She offers a women-centered, collaborative style of therapy for optimal growth and empowerment.

Dr. Zoe has experienced the positive effects that clear, assertive communication has while running your own business. Being assertive without being aggressive is a fine balance, especially when you’re in a leadership role. She helps women leaders embody their voice and transform their leadership and communication skills. She offers 1:1 sessions, group masterclasses and self-paced communication courses to improve confidence, learn specific tools to communicate assertively, and help women take control of their own lives and careers.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Empowering Women
• 10:28 Finding Your Voice and Processing Anger
• 21:47 Navigating Women's ADHD and Support
• 31:25 Women Supporting and Empowering Each Other
• 39:23 Energy Alchemy for Women

Transcript

Rose: 0:00

In a world that often tries to silence us, our voices are our most powerful tools, but what happens when we struggle to use them? Today, we're diving into the journey of women reclaiming their voices, breaking free from the whispers and stepping boldly into their authentic selves, Ready to unlock your most vibrant, authentic self. Your journey to radiant wellness starts now. Welcome to Chat Off The Mat. I'm your host, Rose Wippich, and I'm here to guide you on an extraordinary journey of feminine healing, energy, work and total well-being. Get ready to be inspired by authentic conversations with leading women practitioners, wellness experts and holistic healers who understand your unique journey. Subscribe to Chat Off the Mat wherever you get your podcasts, and let's create magic together. Welcome.

Dr. Zoe: 0:55

Zoe. Hi, I'm really happy to be here.

Rose: 0:57

And I'm happy as well. Why don't you tell our audience a little bit about yourself?

Dr. Zoe: 1:07

Sure, so I am a women's health psychologist. I've been doing that for about 12 years, and I also am a women's empowerment, leadership and communication coach. It's a lot of words, but it really is all the same thing in terms of finding your voice, finding your agency and finding your boundaries.

Rose: 1:21

Can you tell us more about your approach to helping women set boundaries and communicating assertively?

Dr. Zoe: 1:29

A big part of my approach, too, is actually starting with your existing strengths, because most people women, anybody you're actually setting boundaries somewhere in your life, but not everywhere. So I usually try to come from a place where you are comfortable setting boundaries and build from there. But a lot of it is also looking at why you're afraid to set boundaries. What are the fears around it? Because most of the time it comes from early childhood experience. That's the psychologist in me. Your fears of expression, your fears of setting boundaries and your sense of autonomy come from a lack of that in early childhood. So we try to come at it from a place where you are no longer a child. This person can't actually hurt you.

Dr. Zoe: 2:21

Scolding is just not the worst thing in the world, even though it feels it, Because a lot of times when you're trying to set a boundary you're worried about getting in trouble like a kid. So that comes up for a lot of us without us realizing we're not actually in that position anymore. But I do also want to highlight that it's normal, even if you're so good at setting boundaries, to be afraid at some point or have trouble at some point at setting boundaries. To be afraid at some point, or have trouble at some point, not even know what your boundary is until it kind of hits a limit. But yeah, speaking your truth is about saying no, I don't like this. Yes, I do like this, or I can't do this. I'm at capacity.

Dr. Zoe: 3:01

So a lot of your boundaries also have to involve a lot of self-reflection. So it's an ongoing living process in yourself and your boundaries will change over time too. Think about yourself as a 20-year-old versus 30, 40. What you like to do, your limits change, and that's okay. But people around you might be uncomfortable with your changes. It doesn't mean it's wrong. It just means everyone has to adjust.

Rose: 3:34

Yes, really important and I think and maybe this is coming from my own self-evaluation or awareness is that I'm worried about being my authentic self or saying my truth, sometimes because people are going to say something like wow, you're changed or whatever they may think and observe based on their perception, but I'm just trying to be who I am and then you get that feedback and it's almost creates this little loop Like okay, you go back into your shell because someone said something.

Dr. Zoe: 4:10

Yeah. So that's another that's a really important piece that you need to expect pushback when you set a boundary. That's part of the process. Unfortunately, it's not because anyone doesn't want you to be happy or have boundaries. People just don't like change.

Dr. Zoe: 4:31

Once you're a certain way to a person, you're put in a box, a category of being a certain way, and most people forget that everyone else in the world. You have multiple identities. You're multifaceted. They tend to pigeonhole you in a certain thing, like you can be nice or assertive, but not both. So when I work with you, or when I work with anyone, I'm always using the terms and You're nice and confident, you're kind and have boundaries, it's all. And Because you have so many aspects to you and they change depending on where you are, if you're with a friend that asks you how you are, what you want, what you need, you don't actually have to assert yourself as much. But if you're in a place where people are trying to push you past your limit, you do have to assert yourself. So your needs of asserting yourself and communicating change depending on who you're with too, and that's how you have to be a bit fluid and know yourself really well and get to know the people around you.

Rose: 5:37

You mentioned, or I read, or maybe in our previous conversation, assertive versus aggressive or assertive and aggressive. Can you define the difference in? Well, maybe talk about the difference of the two.

Dr. Zoe: 5:54

The word assertive has kind of gotten a bad rap for women because we're socialized and taught and expected to be very compliant, permissive, submissive. In a way, we're expected to put everyone else ahead of ourselves. So when a woman is assertive, they equate it with aggressiveness. But aggressiveness is actually more like bullying. Think of it like that. There's no room for collaboration, there's no room for feedback, there's no room for anyone else to have a voice. Being assertive is actually respectful to you and everyone else around you. It's communicating your needs, but there's still room for other people to have a difference of opinion or a different need. So being assertive is literally just saying hey, I feel like Ty tonight. How about you? That's an assertive statement. It doesn't have to be more than that. Passive is saying whatever you want, I have no opinion. Aggressive is saying it's Thai or nothing. Is that?

Dr. Zoe: 6:55

Yeah, that's a very clear To simplify it at a very common experience people have on a daily basis of choosing dinner.

Rose: 7:02

Well, we already said that this lack of being assertive or creating boundaries can come from childhood, you know, not exploring their voice as an early on, but having maybe let's say that there's women that are aggressive on the other end of the spectrum. Does that come from? What does that come from?

Dr. Zoe: 7:21

It's honestly the same thing but it manifests differently. So, say, you're in a household with a lot of people coming at you or it's hard to get your voice heard, you, instead of becoming passive, you become aggressive. So it's two sides of the same coin, really, of not being able to be heard. But some people tend to go the passive route and some people might go the aggressive route. When I work with women who are more on the aggressive side, there are also a lot of times in fields pretty male dominated and feel that they have to match the tone around them to be heard. And, just like in a family, if people are very loud, some people will kind of shrink in and say it's not worth it and I'm just going to stay quiet. And some people will match that energy and become more aggressive and loud and feel like they can't collaborate because or they can't be firmly in the assertive but respectful range because they're not hurt.

Rose: 8:19

How do you help women balance this assertiveness and empowerment with the societal expectations often placed on women to be nurturing and accommodating? You help women balance this assertiveness and empowerment with the societal expectations often placed on women to be nurturing and accommodating.

Dr. Zoe: 8:28

We go through. What is their ideal way of being in the world, who do they respect? Also, I come up with I try to have people come up with who they admire, who's a model of how they want to be. So you know you're not really reinventing the wheel, but who do you find, who makes you feel empowered and what makes you feel empowered, and also really acknowledging that societal expectations come from a place of keeping women complacent and compliant and that they're not in our best interests and that they come from years and decades and a lifetime of patriarchy, which, again, does not have to be the way it is.

Dr. Zoe: 9:12

Just because someone expects something of you doesn't mean it's you, and that's the same thing of finding your true voice, your true self, what other people want from you.

Dr. Zoe: 9:21

It doesn't mean you have to give it to them and it doesn't mean you have to give it to them and it doesn't mean that's who you are. So you have to find and work and build that inner strength to fight back and also handle and stay resilient in the face of pushback and the fact that people might not like what you have to say and that not everyone is going to like you. Honestly, that's one of the biggest challenges I see women have is that they don't want people. They want everyone to like them, to the point where they don't actually ask themselves if they like someone else or if they like what's happening. They're just trying to be liked and be nice, but all that does is make people take advantage of you more and more. So societal just because it's the way something's been done doesn't mean it's the way it has to stay. I mean that's how progress happens, that's how transformation happens with change but it could be hard because it's very hard.

Dr. Zoe: 10:21

Yes, yes, yeah, I was gonna ask.

Rose: 10:23

Well, first I was gonna ask can a person change? Obviously they can, but it takes time. But I think the hardest thing do you find that, though? I think you said this is the hardest thing is that being being resilient and knowing that not everyone is going to like you. Someone said that to me once and I've gone through my life Like I want everyone to like me and I try to be nice to everyone, and someone said to me not everyone's going to like you, and to me it was like the like the mic drop.

Dr. Zoe: 10:48

I'm like Someone liking you just isn't the most important thing. Liking doesn't mean respect. Either it's not the same thing or the idea of liking isn't even maybe what we think of it as someone actually liking you, wanting to spend time with you, someone might you think like you only because they find you easy to manage and get along with. That's not an authentic relationship at all. So if you want an authentic relationship that involves more back and forth, even confrontation which is not a dirty word, and actually I did a blog and a live on why confrontation is good for relationships, right. If there's no true discussion of back and forth which is essentially what a confrontation is, a discussion there's no authenticity. But I know it's really hard to change, but it is absolutely possible. I've been doing it for women with years. It's my favorite thing when someone says you helped me find my voice. I'm not being taken advantage of in my relationships. I asked for a raise at work. There's so many ways this helps you.

Rose: 11:57

Right, wow, is there a certain age group that you find struggles with this the most?

Dr. Zoe: 12:07

Honestly, no, because even as societal expectations change and it might be easier now to be vocal and you can find community online, it still stems from your early childhood. So everyone's family dynamics come from a different place, or they may be able to speak about work but not at home, or vice versa. So I really see this across the age range. My ideal clients that I work with are usually aged like 30 to 50, but I have so many people transitioning from home to college that also struggle to find their boundaries. That's a transitional stage in life, right. They go from being a child to you're dropped in and expected to be some kind of adult suddenly, and that is a huge time of self-reflection and finding your voice and who you want to be and going from friends of proximity to friends of choice as well. So that's a lot of self-discovery and a lot of navigating new kind of relational dynamics that you might not have ever experienced before.

Dr. Zoe: 13:12

In my therapy work, too, I work with a lot of women who I try to help them find their anger and connect with it, because a lot of times they tend to blame themselves for all the failure or wrongs things they consider failures, whether it's a bad relationship or a bad job or even a bad grade. The younger generation, I find, is so stressed about grades and career and a little bit older is more about relationships. But when they can connect to their anger and turn it from blame to hey, there was another person here creating this dynamic and I participated, but I'm not solely to blame. I feel like, as you're saying, the chakras like it opens up their heart center, it opens up their voice.

Rose: 13:57

A lot of them talk about a flood coming out of anger.

Dr. Zoe: 14:04

I have a lot of people journal on these things with some prompts and mindset work and ask themselves specific questions that direct things externally or whatever they're struggling with. And connecting with your anger is actually a really healthy thing to do as a woman, because we tend to suppress it, because we're not supposed to be angry. Angry is bad, but it's really just part of a full range of emotions part of a full range of emotions.

Rose: 14:35

How do we process that anger when you know, like, do we yell at a pillow or you know, punch a pillow, yell, or maybe go in a room? Like you know, in my mind sometimes I I feel like I'm punching a punching bag to get that anger out. You know, screaming, all those things are good right, all of those things.

Dr. Zoe: 14:50

All of those things are fantastic. I've done martial arts most of my life and I well, I actually don't want to hit someone. I love the feeling of discipline and power, and breaking a board with my hand is so cool, and actually for my birthday this year, I'm going to go to a smash room that's why they have those, so we can go and smash stuff, yeah.

Dr. Zoe: 15:14

Yeah, because there's nothing wrong with anger as long as it's directed the right way and processed. You know it's not meant to be eliminated and I know a lot of women think it should be eliminated and that it's just bad. But it again process the right way, express the right way. It's healthy.

Rose: 15:37

So I do Qigong, which works with our energy, which there are movements that help to release things within us, that we want to do that. And anger is associated with the organs of the liver and the gallbladder, which is then associated with also the fashion, the tissue. So when we're angry, we're, we're tense and we tense the body, and so our body is not moving the way it should be. It's related to the wood energy and we feel very stiff and rigid because we can't release that. To release it is really important and I and yeah, yeah, that to release it is really important, and I and yeah, yeah, and I'm not saying that that relates to having a voice, but in a way it is because you're having this, you're expressing yourself in a way that is healthy for you.

Dr. Zoe: 16:20

Yeah, your opinion isn't. Yeah, your anger doesn't have to hurt anyone, but also say it does upset someone, that's also okay, they will get over it yeah yeah, it's a real relationship.

Dr. Zoe: 16:31

You can be angry and repair. So psychology, a basis of psychoanalytic therapy, is that a lot of it is rupture and repair. We get failed, we misalign and then we repair it. And that's how relationships grow and that's how you grow. You make a mistake and then apologize, acknowledge, repair it, get stronger. I mean, if you could think about a relationship where there was a rupture or a misalignment and then you guys talked about it, doesn't it make it stronger and better and you know each other better?

Rose: 17:03

Yes, it does so. Which leads me now segues to relationship like intimate relationships, husband wife partners. Like intimate relationships, husband wife partners, wife wife husband husband. Sometimes one partner doesn't want to talk and has a hard time, and then you're trying to talk and you're trying to express yourself and then you know no one's listening. That's hard too.

Dr. Zoe: 17:28

Yeah, Very yeah. I mean that's such a common dynamic where the women want to talk and the men don't, or one part it's not even women, men, it's like people find each other that are, like you said, like the opposite the compliment or the opposite, right? So you inevitably end up with someone who is less talkative, less emotional, less than you or more if you're on the lesser side, and it works, especially in the beginning, because there might not be room for both.

Dr. Zoe: 17:57

But over time you guys want to come to an actual like equilibrium or, you know, middle ground, and it can become very hard um any couples, therapists will tell you to try not to get angry at the person and use I statements I need, could you, you know, could we that kind of thing, but you cannot control another person, which is the problem. But yeah, that's. I think that's really frustrating. It's really common.

Rose: 18:24

It doesn't always survive, unfortunately right and but at the same time, don't be afraid to to make those high need. I feel like I would like those statements.

Dr. Zoe: 18:38

Especially if you're with a low communicator they don't know what you need.

Rose: 18:43

Right.

Dr. Zoe: 18:44

If you don't say anything, they'll think everything's fine because they're fine with very little communication. But if you need more, you have to say it, because they don't need the same thing as you.

Rose: 18:56

Right and so okay, let's talk about women asking for help. A lot of women and you mentioned we talked you have a toddler, right? Yes, when women have young children, they're in this bubble, almost, almost right. They're raising and you're working too and everything. But we need help, we need to ask for help. We can't just assume we're going to do it, because then there's this breakdown, somebody suffers. I always say something's got to give right. So asking for help, that's another way. You know we need to communicate when we need it. Do you find that you work with women also who have a hard time asking for assistance because maybe they feel?

Rose: 19:39

that there's a weakness that they're projecting.

Dr. Zoe: 19:43

A weakness or they're most of the time they're worried about feeling like a burden to someone. Again, it's still this centered on I don't want to put out anyone else with my needs, with whether it's I need a voice or a boundary or anything like that. Um, so I don't. They don't really perceive it as weakness per se. I get you know what. That's not true. It comes like.

Dr. Zoe: 20:08

Especially, motherhood changes things. People, you know, um, people have a lot of guilt of not being a good enough mom if they need help. I don't see the same at people's jobs, necessarily, but this societal expectation of mothers to have this innate ability to do it all, yeah, and not need help because that's how it was done in the past, but also, it's not true, that's how it was done in the past. There were communities and villages, literally. So I see that a lot with new moms and moms again of multiples. They're like well, other people did this. I must be doing something wrong if I'm feeling overwhelmed and there's so much more people talking about how no, it's just super hard and it really sucks and if you don't have help, you will feel like you're drowning all the time. But asking for help, I think as a as a mom can make people feel weak.

Rose: 21:00

I saw on your website. Do you work with women in ADHD? Can we talk about adult ADHD Because that's kind of a new thing, or maybe I feel it's a new thing because now people as adults are getting diagnosed. How do you go about getting diagnosed?

Dr. Zoe: 21:17

It's new in the media. So, yeah, I ended up specializing in it because I've been working, I do neuropsych testing, so I work with learning disabilities throughout the age range. But I started getting a lot of these referrals for women in their 20s, andirties saying that nothing has quite felt right and they have all these challenges. But they were thought of as dreamers or low effort in school, even though they, you know, did well enough and understood concepts. So women's ADHD oftentimes not always, but more often than boys is inattentive type, so it doesn't have the behavioral problems that get noticed in school.

Rose: 22:00

Right, is it?

Dr. Zoe: 22:01

more like.

Rose: 22:01

ADD.

Dr. Zoe: 22:03

The term is the same. In the past it might have been ADD, the DSM. The terminology changes every couple of years as they update it. So now it's just ADHD, inattentive type, hyperactive type or combined. It's like there's a slash between attention deficit, slash hyperactivity, so you can either have the hyperactive piece or not, or have a little bit.

Dr. Zoe: 22:25

So a lot of women end up just having the inattentive type, where they're more internally distracted. So they get labeled as low effort, not trying hard enough. It's all in your head. And then as adults, like no, there's still something going on. I'm not, there's not, I'm not, there's something wrong. And there is. There's something different about the brain, chemistry and the development. So that's why a lot of women are getting diagnosed as adults now because they were overlooked in school and with some accommodations in school, like extra time, refocusing help, things like that they could have done better. But instead they internalize the shame and assume, because everyone's saying they're just not trying hard enough, that there is something wrong with them. As opposed to, um, a disorder that has a treatment protocol. Yeah, you know. So I don't know if that's kind of what you were asking about, but yeah, I was just.

Rose: 23:21

You know, maybe women out there that are listening don't realize that there's adult ADHD or women ADHD.

Dr. Zoe: 23:30

Yeah. So I do a lot of honestly, primarily ADHD testing now and to get diagnosed itself you don't need like a whole neuropsych evaluation, but it's it's. What's great about it is that it helps you understand. Actually all of your cognitive processes is your is. Are you better verbally? Are you better visually?

Dr. Zoe: 23:52

Working memory is the kind of memory where you're trying to hold information in your mind and then reuse it without the help of visuals or pen and paper. There's processing speed, which is separate from attention. There's memory, which is separate again from attention. So think about it If you're not paying attention to what's being said to you because you're internally distracted, or distracted by that noise over there or something you saw at the corner of your eye, that's not a memory problem, it's an attention problem because it never made it into your memory Interesting. So a lot of people think they have a memory problem when they have an attention problem. Um, so yeah, I mean I I really do love working with those women.

Dr. Zoe: 24:34

I actually also do now executive functioning coaching to help people with create systems, routines for themselves, find something that works to help them. There's a big issue with adhd is initiation getting started right? People procrastinate, um, but they also don't have a system in place where they're actually making it easier for themselves. So things like you might not realize, like something as simple as washing the dishes actually has a couple of steps leading up to it before you start to wash the dishes. So separating out tasks or setting small amounts of time, like for 10 minutes I'm going to do this, is much more doable than I have to do all of something which like an abstract concept right.

Rose: 25:16

It could be overwhelming too exactly, exactly.

Dr. Zoe: 25:18

You know, like if I look at the kitchen and I see like it's just covered, I'm not.

Rose: 25:24

I'm just going to walk away, as opposed to saying I'm going to start in this corner, do that for 10 minutes and then go do something else you know really, make it manageable that really could help people in the corporate environment too, or in a job environment, right when they're working and they're just because I know we're connected 24 seven, so you're really not stepping away from anything. And if you don't check your emails I hear this often If I don't check my emails, in 10 minutes I could have a hundred emails and then I don't know which ones to go to or which ones are priorities. So it could be quite overwhelming, I think, for anybody.

Dr. Zoe: 25:58

Yeah, oh yeah.

Rose: 25:59

Yeah.

Dr. Zoe: 25:59

And some of it's trial and error, like what works for you might not work for someone else, but there's a lot of options to choose from. Same way, when I help people with anxiety or pain, I've worked with pain management too and talk about different types of meditation. Especially with my ADHD folks, I tend to do an active meditation like progressive muscle relaxation, where they're focusing on parts of their body because just trying to sit and let your thoughts flow, that doesn't work for them and that's fine. And I also recommend a guided meditation, so you're not trying to come up with the action yourself, you're just following a guideline. And with progressive muscle relaxation, you're breathing and either tensing and releasing or relaxing muscles as you go like bit by bit, throughout your body. So there's also activity which helps people focus on it and get less distracted.

Rose: 26:56

You do a lot. I'm thinking, wow, she's got a lot of systems in place to help a lot of people.

Dr. Zoe: 27:01

This is fantastic I mean it's all just tons of happens, and I could never just do one thing personally. So yeah, it keeps developing, seeing what the needs are and what, what really makes me feel good and what kind of help makes me feel good to give.

Dr. Zoe: 27:20

Yes, and you know I think a message out there to, to people who are listening, anybody that's listening, men or women that you know, if you feel that something is off, don't be afraid to ask and get professional help, because you know what they need, based on right analysis, evaluation, whatever it is well, we've also like as a therapist I mean, most of your therapists out there have seen it all and people don't come to us when they're feeling good, like a lot of first sessions involve crying because this is the first place they've been allowed to express it and I can't tell you how many women apologize for crying in a session and you don't have to apologize. To be honest, I expected. I didn't expect you to come here when you're feeling good. I expected you to come in when you were kind of on your last leg and needed help and waited probably too long.

Dr. Zoe: 28:14

We all do it, right. We wait too long. So, yeah, they apologize so much when they're crying, but that's just the way you express emotion. There's literally nothing wrong with crying and some people are also just criers. That's how their emotions manifest. It doesn't mean you're weak, it doesn't mean anything about that, but yes, a therapist or someone like myself that's been doing it for years.

Dr. Zoe: 28:36

we look at your patterns, we look at your experiences and we adapt in the moment to help you find what will work for you honestly, not to push you to be like me, but to encourage you to find your authentic voice, which is not going to sound like mine or someone else's. Encourage you to find your authentic voice, which is not going to sound like mine or someone else's. You're going to discover what you're comfortable and build it up slowly so that you can feel confident and assertive and a sense of agency in all areas of your life. But when you come in, we expect that you're struggling and that's okay.

Rose: 29:11

And be unapologetic, unapologetic, unapologetic. You do not know, yeah, I, I say that to people and I find myself and catch myself saying I'm sorry and I do it less, but even I said something. My son forgot something the other day when he went, I took him back to school and I said, oh, I said to, said to him I'm sorry, I texted it and he goes, you don't have to apologize. And I thought, wow, I said you're right, he's right, I don't have to apologize. It really wasn't my fault and you know, and uh, coming from a 20 year old, I thought that was pretty good, a very quiet 20 year old, but that's very profound on his part and it made me feel really good I. I want to ask you one other question here, um, about women supporting other women sometimes doesn't always happen I think it does.

Dr. Zoe: 30:06

I think it depends on the environment and the person is obviously a much bigger push. You know, in the online world of women helping women and women supporting women, I myself prefer to, you know, work with women providers and vendors and things like that if I can. But yeah, a lot of places women are pitted against each other in competition. Certain environments where men are seen as more powerful, capable, that tend to get the promotions, women might want to not align with other women, because if it's like a diversity situation too, where there's only two women on the team, they're going to be in direct competition because they don't feel they can both get promoted. So there's a lot of environments that really pit women against each other, dating being one of the worst ones.

Rose: 30:55

Oh yeah, Let me think of that. I haven't dated in a while.

Dr. Zoe: 30:59

Oh my gosh. I haven't in a while either, but I remember it was like the wild, it was like Hunger Games out there.

Rose: 31:08

Yeah.

Dr. Zoe: 31:09

And I did not want to participate in that. I did not want to participate in that, so yeah, but there's a lot of situations where women were are made to feel that they are in direct competition as opposed to being able to be supportive of one another.

Rose: 31:22

Yeah, but hopefully not as much now. I think you're right. I think that society is, or women are, starting to work with women and understand each other and support and help each other grow and transform.

Dr. Zoe: 31:36

Yeah, I mean, I see that so much in the you know like self-employed world. I haven't, I've never been in a corporate environment. I have worked for hospitals and things like that. But also, I guess, just as therapists, we're not really in competition with each other for clients maybe, but honestly there's enough clients for everyone, and now everyone's niching down to do really specific things. So it's so easy to collaborate with someone who has a specialty that I don't, and every woman I've met with and collaborated with has been so supportive.

Rose: 32:14

So I really think in the self-employed or small business world there's a lot of support now where maybe there didn't used to be they're all women and it's really nice to see women supporting each other and helping each other grow, cause I know that there's a lot of women who are empty nesters, who are changing their path and trying to grow and and, and you know, and it takes a lot of courage to do that and to really get out there, and I think a lot of the work that you're doing helps them, because they're a little worried or fearful or self-judging.

Dr. Zoe: 32:53

Oh yeah, a supportive group is changing. Actually, I have a friend overseas that works in leadership and it's usually like a combined environment and I focus specifically on women. So she actually had the opportunity to work just with women and she said it was a magical experience. Unlike with the mixed groups that there was because women leaders struggle with different things than male leaders because of societal expectations, internalized gender roles, things like that. So not having to explain themselves was a whole different experience.

Dr. Zoe: 33:27

And that's what I love too about women helping women. We don't have to explain why we're struggling or why we're having problems in this or why we don't have to explain why we're struggling or why we're having problems in this or why we don't feel necessarily comfortable speaking up. I mean, sometimes it's just a safety issue that men don't struggle with on a day-to-day basis walking down the street. So not having to explain yourself and just feeling completely understood in a group format is so I really love women's groups. Like I run a women's, a confident communication group and an empower a leadership group, and it's so helpful for women to see that other people are having the same struggles at work, at home, whatever it is, and that they're not alone and there's nothing wrong with them, and they all support each other and help each other, and it makes the process of empowering yourself easier, actually.

Rose: 34:18

Yeah, I agree. Tell us about what the work, the groups, the work that you do, what your offerings are. Great opportunity to talk about that. Yes, I'd love to, yeah, so.

Dr. Zoe: 34:30

I've done workshops in the past on assertive communication and I'm launching, actually now, an ongoing program that will probably be available around Black Friday, to sign up for confident communication and leadership. And you know, all my marketing coaches and things like that are like leadership, leadership, leadership for professional women and that's great, but as a woman, you really have to be a leader in every aspect of your life. You're making thousands of decisions a day for your family, for yourself, for everything. So while it's maybe geared a little bit towards, you know, a work environment, it's usable everywhere. So this is going to be a 12 week small group program, no more than 10 women at a time, because that's, I think, the max where you can all really get to talk and really express yourselves and support each other and you're going to find your authentic voice. You're going to learn how to communicate.

Dr. Zoe: 35:24

I help people kind of get little templates for themselves on how they're comfortable setting a limit. We remove a lot of fluff and we work a lot on mindset why you're fearful of it, but then switch it to what can you gain from expressing yourself. We all worry about what's going to go wrong, but what can you gain? What would change for you Right, and that's that's where people they stop before they get to that point. So that's, I'm really excited about that. I do offer one-on-one coaching and therapy, but I'm trying to launch the group because my one-on-one swats are so limited at this point being a toddler mom and doing testing and therapy and everything but I just love the group environment.

Dr. Zoe: 36:10

And so it's virtual right, so because you're in.

Rose: 36:13

New York City. So everything's all virtual. So you have a big reach when you're doing group.

Dr. Zoe: 36:17

Yes, yes, all virtual. And yeah, with coaching it's a big reach, um, with therapy it's limited to New Jersey, new York and Florida, where I'm licensed, um, but yeah, the coaching is anywhere in the world. I've worked with women in London. I did a collaboration with someone, united Arab Aramids. I love the reach of coaching. And then also I have a free Facebook group where you can just join. It's growing, it's building. It hasn't been my focus just because of so much you know one-on-one work, but I'd love to create this community collective even if you will of women, supporting women in all areas of empowerment, self-care, self-love, finding your voice, everything like that.

Rose: 37:03

And that's on Facebook, and I'll put all the links. You also have a few freebies as you go on your website, which I'll also put. I know there's some downloadable things which I downloaded for eBooks and things like that.

Dr. Zoe: 37:15

It's a, so would they actually go together? I didn't realize when I was creating them how they go together, but one's a free empowerment journal with daily prompts.

Dr. Zoe: 37:23

So, like every time I get mindset prompts, it's always in different places, but so this is all in one downloadable PDF. Each day has a different empowerment prompt to help you reflect, realign, and then there's a 30-day empowerment calendar to take action. So they actually, I think, work pretty well together, which again, I didn't realize at the time. But I know some people love to journal and some people just want to take steps, so small steps every day to move yourself towards an empowered life.

Rose: 37:56

Those small steps for people that need those small steps right.

Dr. Zoe: 37:57

Absolutely and honestly, I recommend starting small, because if you start too big, you tend to reinforce your ideas that you can't do something. It's like the idea of when people set a New Year's resolution that's just too large to maintain right Inevitably stop by February. These small steps can be done daily. They don't. They're not huge changes, but they lead to big changes. That's, I think, part of the key is to start small and win. Get little wins under your under your belt.

Rose: 38:30

There's a book that I don't remember who wrote it, but it's called atomic habits and I have it. Yes, no, I actually. You know small, you know, and and and celebrate those little, small steps and those small wins that you do, because those are all collectively, all the little wins and steps will lead to the big ones. Is there anything else that you wanted to add or I don't think so.

Dr. Zoe: 38:53

It's been a pleasure talking with you. It's fun here.

Rose: 38:56

Yeah, it's you have so much to offer, and I really encourage people to to find you if they are struggling with finding their voice and or even if they don't know, if they're struggling with finding their voice because sometimes you don't, because you're doing the same thing all the time.

Dr. Zoe: 39:10

And yeah, and you're just ready, maybe for a little change. Like, yeah, just reach out, dm it. I don't. I share a lot of free information. It's not all about, you know, paying to work. Like, come to the Facebook group, dm me, ask me a question. I help other therapists, I help women. I've trained leadership teams, it's. I just love helping women find their voice. It makes me very, like emotional when I've had a success like that and I see the change and I see someone setting a limit and feeling better. That's all I want for the world, honestly, I love that.

Rose: 39:43

Thank you so much, Zoe, for being here today.

Dr. Zoe: 39:45

Thank you, Rose.

Rose: 39:48

Thank you for joining me on Chat Off The Mat. If you're ready to transform your energy and step into your fullest potential, I'd love to work with you. As an energy alchemist, I help women release blocked energy and reclaim their vibrant essence. Visit rosewipichcom to explore working together and discover free resources for your journey. Love today's episode, subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, leave a rating and share your biggest takeaway with me on Instagram at Rose Whippich. Remember wellness warriors your energy is precious. Nurture it wisely.