From Self-Hatred to Self-Love: How One Woman's Rock Bottom Became Her Breakthrough with Gina Coviello

What happens when years of emotional abuse and people-pleasing finally break you—and that breaking becomes your biggest breakthrough? In this raw and transformative conversation, self-love coach Gina Coviello shares her journey from rock bottom at 54 to becoming a powerful voice for women's empowerment. If you've ever struggled with self-worth, needed constant approval, or felt like you're shrinking to fit everyone else's expectations, this episode will show you there's another way.

In This Episode, You'll Discover:

• Why self-love isn't selfish—and how it creates a ripple effect that transforms your relationships, parenting, and entire life
• The pivotal moment that shifted Gina from seeking external validation to owning her worth
• How to set healthy boundaries in long-term relationships without guilt (even when you've set different precedents for years)
• Red flags vs. green flags: How to identify who truly supports your growth
• Why people treat you poorly (hint: it's almost never about you)
• How to move from people-pleasing to self-validation—and what that actually looks like in daily life
• The surprising connection between forgiving others and reclaiming your own peace
• How Gina overcame her fear of public speaking and now lights up stages with her message
• One simple practice you can start TODAY to begin reclaiming your worth

Gina Coviello is a women's empowerment coach, speaker, and advocate for radical self-love. With a signature blend of gentle fire and fierce compassion, Gina guides women to reconnect with their inherent worth, speak their truth, and stop shrinking to fit lives that no longer reflect who they are. Through transformational workshops and group coaching, she helps women break free from people-pleasing, perfectionism, and the constant need for external validation.

Connect with Gina Coviello

Website: www.coachginacoviello.com

• Free monthly workshops available
• Small group coaching sessions
• Resources for self-love and empowerment

If you’re ready to move from shrinking to shining, this episode offers tools you can use today, plus the community insights that make growth stick. Subscribe, share with a friend who needs this message, and leave a quick review to help more women find their voice.

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Produced by Rose Wippich | Chat Off The Mat Podcast

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome And Guest Introduction
• 2:05 Gina’s Rock Bottom And Self-Love Turn
• 4:35 Why Self-Love Is Not Selfish
• 8:15 Modeling Repair And The Ripple Effect
• 11:05 Boundaries As Self-Respect
• 16:20 Green Flags, Red Flags, And Safety
• 19:20 Shy To Speaker: Reclaiming Voice
• 24:05 Letting Go Of External Validation
• 28:45 Catching Self-Talk And People Pleasing
• 32:50 Nature, Solitude, And Spiritual Grounding
• 37:15 One Small Practice To Start Today
• 41:20 Community, Group Coaching, And Next Steps
• 44:30 Closing Reflections And Call To Action

Transcript

Rose: 0:00

Ready to unlock your most vibrant, authentic self? Welcome to Chat Off The the Mat, where holistic wellness meets practical wisdom and extraordinary transformation. I'm your host, Rose Wippich I'm a Qigong instructor, yoga teacher, and a Reiki master. So get ready for inspiring conversations with wellness experts who understand your unique journey, plus practical tools for energy healing, life transitions, and conscious and soulful living. Your journey to radiant wellness starts now. Let's create magic together. Today's guest is someone whose presence is both grounding and igniting. Gina Coviello is a women's empowerment coach, speaker, and advocate for radical self-love. With a signature blend of gentle fire and fierce compassion, Gina guides women to reconnect with their inherent worth, speak their truth, and stop shrinking to fit a life that no longer reflects who they are. Whether she's leading transformational workshops, challenging the myth that self-love is selfish, or helping women break free from people pleasing and perfectionism, Gina's work is a powerful call to rise. In this conversation, we explore what it means to live boldly from the inside out, how to reclaim your voice after years of silence, and why choosing yourself is the most generous act you can offer the world. If you've ever felt unseen, but know deep down you were born to shine. This one's for you. Let's dive in. Welcome, Gina. How are you? I'm doing great, Rose. How are you this morning? I am doing great. I'm I've been looking forward to our to our interview. So thank you for uh for being here. Well, thank you for asking me. I'm honored to be here. Thank you. Thank you. So let's uh let's dive deep. Let's uh tell the audience some I I did the intro about you, and um I just want to uh for you to share your own personal story about who you are and and what you do. Okay, great.

Gina: 2:07

So Gina Coviello, and I am a self-love coach, more specifically working with women, because that tends to be who's interested in self-love at the moment. Um I grew up with a tremendous amount of emotional abuse at home, and then it just continued throughout my life. And I am someone who really unfortunately hated myself subconsciously. I hated myself. And I hit just a couple of years ago, I was 54, I believe, when I kind of hit rock bottom. And I was so uncomfortable and miserable in life that I wanted out of here, you know, I wanted off the planet. And I did not take any action on that, but it instead I propelled forward in a really beautiful positive way. And I decided that I get to choose who is in my life. I don't have to continue to have people in my life who are not kind and loving toward me. So I started to take better control of my life. I changed direction career-wise because I wasn't really fulfilled with the career I had at the time. And I started prioritizing me. What do I want? What do I need? What makes me feel happy? How do I want to spend my free time? And these were very self-loving things that I did. I didn't know that what I was engaging in was self-love. I just started focusing on me. And then I chose to speak about it and I got really positive feedback. And I decided that this is a topic that is really needed in the world, that especially in this country anyway. I don't know about the rest of the world, but I imagine people all over the world feel incomplete. And it's really our relationship with ourself that brings true happiness and fulfillment. So I am here to talk about self-love and lift other people up and hopefully help people heal their own emotional internal wounds.

Rose: 4:05

Oh, I love that. And I'm sure that there are people globally, especially women, I find the same as well, that really need this messaging from people like yourself. Now, um uh I've read or you've said that self-love is selfish. It's the most generous act. Can you unpack what that means, especially for women who've been taught otherwise? Because, you know, we feel that once we turn that love on ourselves, we may feel a little guilty or maybe a little selfish.

Gina: 4:34

Yeah, yeah. And it's actually that self-love is not selfish. Oh, I'm sorry. That's okay. No, no, I just want to clarify.

Rose: 4:42

I meant isn't selfish.

Gina: 4:44

Yes, right, right. Um, yeah, loving yourself and taking good care of yourself and getting to a place where you are fulfilled and happy in your life, when you're in that state, you actually bring love and compassion and patience, et cetera, into your other relationships, into your career. And when you are bringing those positive emotions into life, you impact other people in a really positive way. Um, I can give you a, I'll try to make it a quick example. I'm a divorced single mom, and I was not always, you know, the loving, nurturing mom that I hope I am today. I had an incident with one of my kids, and I won't go into the whole story, but he got mad at me. I was just having a simple conversation with him about something that he did that I didn't feel was optimal. And I was just trying to explain to him what I felt he could have done better, but I was nice about it. He got mad, blew up at me, stormed out of the room. And I thought, okay, because I'm aware something else is going on with him. Whatever he's reacting to wasn't the conversation we were having. It was something else. And when someone's upset, that is not the moment to go and talk about it, right? I needed for him to calm down. Well, half hour 45 minutes later, he came to me. Now he is 16, he was 15 at the time. He came to me and apologized and said, Yeah, mom, I'm sorry, something else is going on with me. You didn't deserve that, you know, et cetera. And it was a really beautiful, and he's 15. And I would not have had that presence at that age. I even a couple of years ago, I didn't have that, you know, awareness and understanding. And I know that that was a direct result of me loving myself because that's the exact thing that I do with my kids now. Right. I'm not perfect. I still react inappropriately at times. Right. We all do. It's normal, it's common. Yeah. But when I realize that I've done so, I go back to my kids and I will tell them, hey, I'm upset about something else and I took that out on you. That was not about you. I'm sorry, you didn't deserve that. Well, here's my 15-year-old son doing the same thing. You know, he's mirroring my awareness, which is self-loving. And the ripple effect goes even further than that. I can say that he is going to grow up to be a better husband, a better father, a better coworker, you know, whatever, because of my loving myself. I am impacting people in his life that aren't in his life yet. And so that is the most beautiful thing that you can, that is a gift, gift that I've given my children, right? To be a better, more responsible, loving, self-aware person. So when I bring love into my relationships because I'm in a good place with me, that's a that's a gift. It is loving for me to love myself. It makes the world a better place ultimately.

Rose: 7:54

Oh my God, yes. I love that you share that. Thank you. I feel the same way. We both have twins. I have boys. You have two boys? Yeah, they're boys. Yeah. And um, I've done the same thing with them. You know, I there's moments where I had a rough time for for whatever reason. You know, raising kids in in general and and doing everything, uh, sometimes it gets, you know, crazy. And I've done the same thing. You you you talk to them and you say, hey, I'm really sorry that I was I acted this way. And they learn from you, and and and like you said, it just makes them a better person. And you're also showing them that you value who you are. I think a lot of that self-love comes from, you know, you start to value who you are more. There's a lot of things just from that self-love. You value yourself and you respect yourself and you show others, hey, I I want to be respected also.

Gina: 8:44

Right. And that's setting healthy boundaries, right? And not again, setting healthy boundaries is super, super important. And that is me respecting myself. Yeah, no, you don't get to treat me this way. I love you and I get you're upset, but you gotta, you know, hold back. Yeah.

Rose: 9:01

Yeah.

Gina: 9:01

So let's talk a little bit about that.

Rose: 9:03

Um, so when so you can all right, so people that are in relationships for a long time and don't have the women, I'm not gonna talk about women and don't have those healthy boundaries at first, sometimes it may be hard to establish those because you've already set precedents, right?

Gina: 9:18

Yes, yeah.

Rose: 9:20

So do you come across that and how how can women kind of keep going without losing moment, I don't know, like without losing faith that things will change, you know, because everything is practice and yeah, establishing almost new rules, but not rules.

Gina: 9:39

Right. You know, but yeah, the boundaries. Yeah, and this is so this is advocating for yourself. And I would want women to think of it not as I am being, can I say bitchy? I don't know if I can say that on your program. I'm sure okay. I'm not being a bitch by saying you don't get to treat me this way. I'm actually protecting my energy, right? Out of from a place of love of self. I deserve to be treated with respect. And I'm going to enforce in a loving way that, you know, you don't get to shame me or belittle me or make me feel guilty repeatedly, or what, you know, whatever, whatever it is. Um, you don't get to hang stuff over my head, and that it's it's a good thing for me to protect my own energy again, not because I'm being selfish or greedy, but because I deserve to be allowed to be treated in a loving, respectful way. So, you know, that old saying, do unto others as you would have done unto you. It's it's an equal change. I want you to treat me the way I would treat you. And if I'm not going to yell and swear and belittle you, I would like not to be manipulated or, you know, whatever in return. And it takes practice. You know, I've done things where I've I had a friendship. I was upset with a friend. She's not in a place of being self-loving and she doesn't show up for the friendship in the way that I would like, you know, to have an equal exchange. It took me two years before I got the courage to have a conversation with her. And, you know, that's okay. I'm not going to beat myself up over it. It's okay that it took me that long. But I finally had the conversation with her that I need her to reciprocate the attention and the love that I put into our friendship. And surprisingly, she received the conversation very well. It was uncomfortable to have the conversation, but she received it well. I did it with kindness. I didn't make her out to feel like she's a bad person. She's not, you know, and that's a that's an important thing. When you are establishing a boundary with someone, you don't need to tell them that they're a horrible person. You just need to ask for, hey, I, you know, I felt bad when you said this in front of my husband. And I'd appreciate if you would try not to do this in the future. Right. You can do it a very simple, loving, respectful way, just to let them know you crossed a line with me and I'd appreciate if you would try not to do that in the future. And, you know, give people a chance to correct their behavior. If they're not used to you sticking up for yourself, you might find that they push back. I with my kids, I did that. I was starting to set some boundaries and they were like, well, no, we think we get to do. And I'm like, no, it's, you know, but again, calmly with love. But you may find that people are not receptive. Yeah. When you start behaving differently, they may not be receptive to it. So be patient and loving with them. Uh, give them time to correct, but be persistent. You got to be consistent. Yeah. But again, it's a love, it comes from a place of love of self, not from I have to tell you to back off or I'm not gonna be able to, you know, have whatever in my life. It's from a place of love. I deserve to be treated with love and respect.

Rose: 13:07

Yeah, and and not to take it personally if they don't react the way you think they should react, or maybe come, you know, like your friend, you were lucky, and she she reacted in a nice way, but there'll be times where people may not, and you can't take it personally, and you have to continue to establish that boundary. And at some point, if you have friends that maybe won't respect that, you have to maybe cut ties or cords and and you know, or if you can't cut ties or chords, just energetically, intentionally set them, send them loving energy. It's kind of what I say, you know, just send them that loving light and maybe they'll soften and will then respond in a different way when you try to establish those boundaries again.

Gina: 13:58

Right. But you make a very important point when you are setting boundaries, and again, give people time to adjust. But if they don't or can't or won't adjust, it is self-loving to let go of the relationship. Um, that's you know, that's a difficult choice to make, and I'm not saying that anyone should do that, but it is a self-loving choice to not allow someone to treat you poorly. And I think the the hard reality is that when someone is treating us poorly repeatedly, it's actually my fault, not their fault, because I've allowed them to do this, right? And if I allow it, I'm choosing it. And it's important to know that you don't have to choose it. Now, not every relationship is easy to exit from, but it is self-loving to maintain a healthy, loving boundary. And you know, everyone can do without what they will, but it's an important point. It is not self-loving to stay in a relationship where you are repeatedly being treated disrespectfully.

Rose: 15:06

I think you have to look at yourself and find out maybe the root of why you're not comfortable establishing boundaries or having that self-love. Because just think about this. You could be a very vulnerable person or think person, and then say something and you crumble, and then you're you have a setback, and then it takes you longer to re-establish that confidence to say something. So I don't know. I guess that's how I look at it, like, you know, do the work and feel good and find out what your weaknesses are and how you can strengthen that self-love and then have the confidence to say, hey, you know, I'm doing the work here, you know, let's let's work on this together and and right make things good. And yeah, yeah.

Gina: 15:54

Yeah. And, you know, someone who truly cares about you, who actually loves you for you, not because they need something from you. If you go to them and be vulnerable and say, hey, I'm working on this, I'd appreciate your support. If that's a healthy relationship person, they're gonna want to support you in your efforts to grow and be your own person and step into your own empowerment. So that's another, that's I have like red flags and red flags.

Rose: 16:22

That's a great, great point. Yeah, I love that.

Gina: 16:24

Someone who supports you, that's a green flag. If they are resistant, it's a red flag. It doesn't mean, again, that you can't fix the relationship or repair the relationship, but that's a red flag. If they're not willing to be loving towards you when you say, hey, what you're doing is hurting me, if they're like, well, it's your fault, that's a red flag. That's that they may not be in that relationship because they love you, but because they need something from you, maybe.

Rose: 16:55

No, that brilliant. That's a great point. And you know, you you have to feel safe too. I mean, not just like physically safe, which is yes, number one, physically self, but just emotionally safe, you know. Uh, I think we all innately want to feel safe and nurtured and taken care of. Uh, and I think as women, you know, we take care of a lot of things and a lot of people. And the last person that we really focus on is our are ourselves.

Gina: 17:23

Yeah. Yeah, it's very common for women, especially if you're a mother, right? We really give a lot to our children, which is appropriate, but we forget to give back to ourselves. And then, you know, a lot of women who um, when their children go off to college or move out of the home, they suddenly feel really, really empty and they don't know what to do with themselves, right? Um, and that's because they have probably deprioritized their own needs. And it's it's beautiful to give to your children in that way, but you'll be a better mother if you also give to yourself. Again, it's that ripple effect. Your children will be more independent and um self-sufficient if you are taking care of you in the process and you're setting a good example for them to be self-loving, you know, maybe when they're a parent too.

Rose: 18:17

We have a lot of very similar, um, besides the fact that we both have twins. I'm hearing you, and I'm like, she could be like my my sister here, my doppelganger, because you're you're saying so many of the same things. I mean, as I'm sure as you're raising your children, you're on this path. Your kids are what, 16 or so. Um, and you're doing things for yourself, right? So you're you have a business and you're and you're speaking and you're also taking care of them and helping them become more dependent, independent. So you're you're you're you're uh you're setting that that beautiful uh stage set up for their success as well. Let's talk a little bit about yours about you. And you say you were once a once shy woman, now lighting stages with wisdom and heart. And I want you to share with us a pivotal moment in your own journey of self-empowerment because there are a lot of women out there who are shy, and then just something happens, or maybe something changes in their life, and they're like, now it's this transformation. So I want to talk about your transformation story.

Gina: 19:16

So, yeah, so public speaking was one of my biggest areas of transformation. I so again, I said I was raised with emotional abuse. I was conditioned to believe that everything I said and did was wrong or bad, or you know, so I was very um clued into needing other people to approve of me. So I was completely dependent on external validation, which means everything that came out of my mouth was subject to rejection, right? And I got rejected a lot through most of my life. So after I had hit rock bottom and I was starting to, you know, have success with my self-loving practice, I decided I want to get over my fear of public speaking. And it wasn't just public speaking, like even having this one-on-one conversation with you three or four years ago, super uncomfortable for me, right? Just because I would be afraid you wouldn't like me. And so I decided to speak publicly, voluntarily. I didn't need to. So I joined a networking group and they coincidentally had an opportunity to speak at the monthly luncheons. So I did. And I volunteered and I decided to talk about self-love. So a week or so before my presentation, because I had a couple months to prepare, week or so before, I started to get really fearful that I was talking to the wrong audience. These were entrepreneurial women. It's a women's networking group of entrepreneurs. And I'm like, oh, they already own their own businesses, they're already confident, and oh my God, I'm wasting their time. They're gonna be really mad at me, right? My my usual fear, that was just my usual self-talk. Yes, my little knee-nee-nee-nee-nee. You're doing the wrong thing. Don't do this, bubbled up. And again, I had had success with self-love and I realized this is just my fear, excuse me, my fear trying to protect me. And I have to speak because I'm trying to get over my fear of public speaking. I have to do this, right? I can't get over my fear of speaking if I don't speak. So what I told myself was I know this topic is important. Self-love is needed in the world, and I'm just gonna own my message. And if nobody likes it, I'm gonna let that be okay, right? Like I'm gonna stand up and speak my truth for the first time in my life, and I'm gonna be okay if I get rejected, so be it. So I gave the talk and it went over super, super well. Um, a couple women separately came up to me and said, Gina, that was a really thought-provoking topic. Right. And and for me, huge because I've been afraid to say I like, you know, the Baltimore Orioles. Um, that would be scary to me to admit that, right? So on the way home in the car, I started to cry because I I understood I was holding myself back, right? I was the one who didn't believe that what I have to say has value. And I just demonstrated to myself that it does. So now I have this vision of being on big stages eventually. You know, I'm working my way up. But the thing that held me back the most, which was my fear of speaking my truth, is now my biggest empowering thing that I have in my life. So, yeah. So, you know, my fear ended up propelling me forward. I didn't know what was on the other side of that fear. This is a huge, huge breakthrough for me personally, um, to not only now be comfortable with public speaking, but to pursue it as a career.

Rose: 23:09

Wow, that is such an inspiring story. And I can I could feel your fear. Oh, because you know, it's scary to get in front of a and you did it. You you could have said, I don't feel good, I I I changed my mind, but you just I and I think part of you intuitively were like, I have to do this. I do knew innately that or subconsciously that this was going to be probably your biggest transformational moment.

Gina: 23:39

Yeah, because believing in yourself is the key to growth. You have to believe that you are capable. In order to do that thing you want to do, you've got to believe you can do it. Because if you don't believe you can do it, you won't, right? You have to believe, even when everyone else tells you no, you gotta listen internally and believe in yourself.

Rose: 24:00

And and hopefully I'll remember this other thought. And the other thing you you said is um, oh my gosh. Oh, and if and if it doesn't resonate with anyone, it's okay. I'm okay with that. And that is huge because as someone, and I feel the same way because I was always someone who needed approval. I saw I'm mirroring you here. Yeah, that that's very hard for us to say I would be okay with that, because we want to someone to say, you know what, we did a great job, but we're okay now if someone doesn't say that as long as we know we did our best.

Gina: 24:36

Yeah, exactly.

Rose: 24:38

So a lot of lessons learned in that example that you just gave us.

Gina: 24:41

Right. And and the one thing else I want to point out is that external validation is not needed. You know, you are worthy even if no one else likes what you're doing or saying. That has nothing to do with you being enough, yeah, right? You are funny or sexy or whatever it is you want to be, you are that. You don't need other people to tell you that you are for you to know that you are lovable and worthy and smart enough and all of that.

Rose: 25:09

Yeah, but you know, so have you been able to forgive those individuals in your life that maybe didn't know any better, but this is how they were towards you? Do you know what I'm saying?

Gina: 25:26

Yes, this is another huge, huge realization is that all the people who were unkind to me, I now know, of course, I didn't know at the time, the reason they did what they did to me had nothing to do with me. It was all about how they felt about themselves. Yes, right. You know, when you have a bad day and then you go home and somebody, I don't know, breaks something or says the wrong thing to you, we blow up at them. And it's really not about they broke my favorite vase, it's about I got fired this morning, right? Or whatever it was that happened.

Rose: 26:04

Whatever, yeah.

Gina: 26:04

Yeah, whatever. And I'm like distressed and I'm unleashing my distress on you. You're just the innocent. And I think a lot of times, you know, husbands or wives who cheat on their spouse, it is not that the other spouse isn't sexy or lovable, it's that somehow they feel empty.

Rose: 26:24

Yeah.

Gina: 26:25

And cheating gives them a moment where they feel powerful or in control or whatever it is that they need.

Rose: 26:31

Yeah.

Gina: 26:32

It's almost never about you and almost always about how they feel internally. So having that understanding helped me greatly in forgiving my mom. Um, even though she's she's now passed away, I can't have that, you know, conversation with her in person. She was horrible to me, but I now know it's because she was hurting inside. She wasn't capable of giving me the love that I wanted. Start getting emotional, but I now see that. And I'm it had nothing to do with me. And I've been able to find peace within myself that I am enough. She had her own stuff going on. I don't know what that was about, and I don't need to know. I can have compassion. She's still responsible for how she treated me. That's on her, but I can have peace with me. It doesn't mean that there was anything wrong with me. She felt bad about herself. And I don't know, that's given me a lot of ability to forgive uh people who have hurt me.

Rose: 27:34

Yeah. Yeah. That's a that's a I I totally relate to what you said. And and also being aware of that helps you to become you could have carried those same characteristics into your own uh way of parenting. And you, like I know for me, very similar story. And I said, I cannot be the way she was, I need to be different.

Gina: 27:56

Right. And yes, I totally have it. I'm absolutely like, oh, my mom did this to me. I am not letting my children, you know, have that in their lives. I'm gonna be very different. And what I can also take away from that, instead of being mad at my mom, I can say, she taught me how to be a better mother.

Rose: 28:15

Yeah.

Gina: 28:16

Her her example was not ideal, but I learned I chose to come from a different perspective. I'm not repeating her mistakes. I'm not saying I never did, but I did learn from it. And I can say that she gave me a gift. I'm a better mother because I learned from her how not to be a mother, which is unfortunate, but it it helped me learn.

Rose: 28:39

So let me ask you a question. We talked about self-validation or external validation. How do you help women move from needing external validation to cultivating more lasting inner worth?

Gina: 28:53

Um, so it is all about understanding that you are perfect, you are enough as you are. But again, I can tell you that till I'm blue in the face. If you don't believe it, it's not gonna sink in with you. So, what we work on is being aware of your behavior. And again, this is not an easy, quick thing. Um, it takes time to be self-aware. But if you listen to the thoughts in your head, you know, we often say in our head or out loud, we might say, like, you break something, like, oh, I'm such an idiot, I'm such a klutz. Listen to what you just, you know, idiot and klutz just came up. Um, these are not nice words to use with yourself. So being aware of what you're saying in your head or what's coming out of your mouth, or even what choices you're making, are you coming from a place of love of self or are you coming from a place of lack and fear? Right? Saying, Oh, I'm such an idiot, that's feeling a Lack of whatever. Um, and so the awareness of the choices that you make and just practicing am I making this choice because I really want to for me, or am I making this choice because I need this person to like me in this moment? Right. That's a huge even something as simple as what you eat for lunch. If you go out to lunch with some people and they're all eating healthy stuff and you want to eat pizza, that is okay. If that's what you really want and you're in a place with your habits that, okay, I can have pizza today if I want, then that's okay to have that pizza. But if you choose the salad because they're all eating salads and they're gonna think I'm unhealthy because I'm eating pizza, then I better eat the salad. Then even though the salad is a physically healthier choice in that moment, it's not self-loving. So just understanding where am I coming from? Why am I making this choice? Is it love of self or is it because I need validation?

Rose: 31:05

And it's connected to people pleasing. I wrote that down as I was as you were talking. Absolutely. Yeah. So when you said make those choices, am I making those choices based on what I want or what someone thinks I should do? And then they will say, good job, or whatever. And then that's what we want to hear. So that's like so hard to decondition, but it takes work, like you said. Like you start to hear like those words that people that you say to yourself. Like we all do it. Of course. I yeah, yeah, we all do, but it's recognize it when you say, like, oh, okay, bros, don't call yourself an idiot. You're not an idiot, you just whatever.

Gina: 31:44

Right. And then just correct yourself and say, Oh, yeah, no, I'm actually intelligent. I just made a simple mistake. I learned from this, you know, put it in a rephrase it in a positive way. Once, but catch yourself and then, you know, rephrase it in a positive way.

Rose: 31:58

Yeah. And and and I think once you start to really do that and and do that practice, you'll notice that shift. And you notice you won't be saying those things as much and also at or feeling that you need that validation from others.

Gina: 32:14

Yeah. Once you start to, I call them empty holes, like I'm not enough is an empty hole. Once you start to fill those empty holes, it gets much easier to not say those things and to catch yourself. And but it does take time and effort. I don't want anyone to think, oh, in a week I can be cured. No, it takes time and effort. Um, so be patient and be kind with yourself. Long as you are working toward improving, great, you're doing awesome.

Rose: 32:42

And when you have those moments when, you know, like you said, be kind to yourself, right? Just like say, okay, just don't get caught up in it. Just make the flip the script and move on.

Gina: 32:56

Yeah, like you just need practice, right? If you're learning to surf, you're not gonna master it usually the first day. You have to keep at it. So you have to keep at, you know, being aware. Um, and just, you know, don't be, yeah, don't be unkind to yourself, be patient, just like you would to your young child.

unknown: 33:14

Yeah.

Gina: 33:14

Keep at it, you're doing great. Good job. You caught yourself this time, you know, blah, blah, blah.

Rose: 33:20

You know, one of the things I've started to do, uh, and I actually wrote this, I have an upcoming book. And I put this exercise in my book, is I created a value journal.

Gina: 33:29

Yeah.

Rose: 33:29

Where I write in there, maybe not daily, but when I feel I did something, and it could be simple, like, oh, I went to the doctor today to get my yearly checkup, whatever. Yeah. I value that because I took care of myself. So having that is like having a gratitude journal. So I started doing that. So, and it does help, yeah.

Gina: 33:48

I even I even talked myself in the mirror, and I'll look in the mirror and say, Good job, Gina. I'm so happy with you today. I'm so proud you you showed up. It didn't go the way you wanted, but you showed up and you try, you know. Yeah, I do that in the mirror too. But the gratitude journal is beautiful, especially when you're writing it, you're with that thought for more time and you think about it more. Beautiful.

Rose: 34:07

Yeah, yeah, thank you. Yeah. Um, you so I was reading your your bio, and I love how you talk about nature and that you love to be out in nature. And you you mentioned about being inspired. I know we're changing here, but being inspired by sounds and spirit animals and all that. Can we talk about that? Because I love that stuff too. Oh, yeah. So talk about how that all grounds you and how how that just brings joy into your life and how you connect with that.

Gina: 34:35

It's huge for me. I actually I live sort of close to Yosemite National Park and I love going to this park. I go a couple of times a year. And and I love to go by myself because I find that I can really get immersed in nature more when I'm by myself. Whereas if I have a companion, we're talking and I'm not, you know, as so this past year, Christmas, I celebrate Christmas. Um, my kids were with their dad on Christmas Day, which was a thing. So I decided, okay, I'm gonna go to Yosemite. And I was alone in Yosemite on Christmas Day, and I had the best Christmas ever. And I was just like I was scrambling on some rocks near one of the waterfalls, and it just brought me, I can't tell you how much joy and grounding energy it brought me. And, you know, I do. I love to like watch the animals around me. And one time I had this little, they're not squirrels in Yosemite, but they look like squirrels. And he just came near me. Of course, they're used to being fed, so I think he was waiting for food, but he came near me and just propped up and just stared at me for a minute, you know, and it was so cute. I'm like, oh, he's saying hi to me. And I just, I don't know, I really revel in nature. Like I didn't used to love nature my whole life, but again, as I'm turning inward, I find that grounding in nature is it's it's one of the times that I feel the best. I feel the most like myself when I'm alone in nature. And I'm like, oh yeah, I don't belong in the city. I need to be, you know, out in the in the mountains and in the woods. Yeah.

Rose: 36:13

I love that. That's beautiful. I I too, I never was. I was raised in the city and in this in the uh suburbs. And once in a while when I go out in nature, I've never been to Yosemite, but I heard it's beautiful. But you just yeah, it's almost as if you're you're you're connecting to something greater than yourself, I feel.

Gina: 36:31

I had this really magical moment in Yosemite. There's this landmark called Half Dome, and I went on a hike. It's um, what is it, 4,800 feet in elevation change over eight or nine miles in one day. It's a strenuous one-day hike. And it was a struggle for me to get up there the first time. So I was up at the top of Half Dome, and that you get this beautiful view of the valley and the park. And I was standing up there and just proud of myself that I had gotten up there and just feeling really, really looking out over the nature and seeing the earth, you know, not just the little park I was in, but the earth as a whole. And I had this magical moment. All of a sudden, I had this rush of um, it was like a, I'm sure it was a love energy, but it felt like this warmth that started at my head and went down to my toes very quickly, as if someone had poured a really nice bucket of hot water on me. This whoosh down the to my feet. And then two lines went through my head. Uh, everything is as it should be. All is right with the earth. And I know that didn't come from me. Like I that's not the way I would have talked to myself, especially at that age. This was like 35 years ago. That did not come from me. And so I don't know. In that moment, I connected with something greater than me. It spoke to me. Yeah, and it was just a beautiful moment.

Rose: 38:01

What's one simple but transformative practice? And we've talked about a few. Just give us a one that you feel that women can start today, today to begin reclaiming her worth.

Gina: 38:12

Yeah. So I would like to pick, you gotta pay attention to yourself and what feels good to you. So um when I started my self-love journey, I um it started with me cleaning my bathroom. Now I'm not a slob, but I'm not a neat freak. And my bathroom needed cleaning for a couple of months. So one day, and every time I'd walk in my bathroom, I'd be like, me, me, me, that shower door is still dirty, yuck. And I kept, you know, picking on myself for months. I was doing this. So one day, one weekend, the kids were away for the weekend, and I went and cleaned my bathroom top to bottom. And the next morning I walked in, you know, first thing in the morning, and it was spotless. And I sort of had this, you know, like the right, like the heavens, the aw. And and I felt lighter on my feet. And I thought, wow, this is really nice. And for me, the moment wasn't about the fact that my bathroom was clean. What I realized later in the day that it was the fact that there was no nitpicking. I walked in and my subconscious had nothing unkind to say to me, which for me was a huge moment. So I decided, you know what? I'm gonna keep my bathroom clean all the time to get this to quiet down. And it worked. And after a few months, my subconscious, which had been very unkind to me, started saying, Great job, Gina. You've been keeping this up for, you know, it started to encourage me. And one day, you know, I'd squeegee my shower door after every shower. And one day I didn't want to do it, you know, like, I'm tired of doing this every day. And my subconscious went, oh no, no, we're gonna do this because we don't want to go back to, you know. So it was just me paying attention to what was meaningful for me. And and and that can be different for everybody. But, you know, then I I once I realized I'm like, oh, I started vacuuming the inside of my car, I keep my kitchen sink cleaner because it quieted this down. And I started feeling loved and pampered by me, right? So pay attention to what makes you feel good, and how can you bring more of that into your life, whatever it may be, taking a foreign language class or tennis lessons or doing your nails. Yeah, doing your nail, whatever it is that just makes you feel good for you, and it can be anything. And so pay attention though. What is meaningful for me? What makes me feel good, and then make an effort um to bring that into your life, you know, at whatever degree makes sense for you. I think that's a great, and that's how my self-love journey really started in earnest was cleaning my bathroom.

Rose: 41:02

Yeah, I love that. Yeah, um, thank you. Um yeah, I'm I I'm the same. And you know, it's and it's also stop trying to do everything, do it small, take baby steps. Right.

Gina: 41:14

When you take on too much at once, you're more likely to quit. Yes. So start small, start with one thing, and then after a month or two, or whatever it is, take on a second thing, or you know, whatever makes sense. But yeah, build up to it. You don't have to be perfect all at once, and you're never gonna be perfect, so don't try to be perfect, but just pay attention to you, but increasingly over time, just work toward whatever it is you you know you want in your life and acknowledge your your successes along the way and be gracious with yourself. Oh, I didn't do it today. That's okay. Make sure you do it tomorrow. Okay, yeah, and you're already perfect, remember?

Rose: 41:53

Well, you are you are perfect, right? No, I know. I'm just saying, you're already perfect, right? But yes, let's not get into that crazy perfectionism that we all want. We want everything to be in the right place at the right time and you know, just chill a little bit. Um, and the and the other thing I we're gonna talk about, I wanted you to talk about what you offer, like how you help women and where they can find you and all that good stuff.

Gina: 42:13

Perfect. So I'm actually in a process of I think I'm growing and expanding, and I think my offerings are probably gonna change, but um, I do have a website. It's www.co or sorry, yeah, dot coachgenacoviello.com. Uh, I just have, you know, a kind of information about what I do. I have been offering free monthly workshops and they're listed out there. At the moment, this is July 2025. I don't have anything out there because I've took a couple months off, but they can check my website and whatever I'm doing will be on my website. And I kind of like to do group coaching at the moment rather than one-on-one. I find, because it's all women, I think that women love to be in groups because we learn from each other's experiences, you know, and someone else might raise something that's going on in their life, and you're like, oh yeah, I have the same experience. And that can make you feel seen and heard, which I think is important too, that, you know, oh, I'm not alone. So I think the group coaching, small group coaching is actually very, very powerful. And we get a better conversation and dynamic going, and we support each other as I learn from you know the people that I'm working with too. So it's benefiting me, which is beautiful.

Rose: 43:32

I love that. I cannot believe you said that because well, I do, because I know you did group coaching, but one of the things I wanted to just kind of end with was how we as women need to support other women and help other women. And like you're doing that in your group coaching, you're creating community where women can talk to each other and help each other because you know, sometimes women don't, or maybe there's times where women didn't help other women, you know, and maybe because we didn't know how, or just we always sometimes feel alone. But when we have this community of women and know other women are going through this same thing, we can help each other out. And I love that. So yeah, thank you for doing that, for offering that and bringing women together and for all the work that you're doing. Um, is there anything else you wanted to say before we wrap up?

Gina: 44:24

Just please take time to prioritize yourselves. It's it's the most important thing you can do in your whole life. You know, whatever your education, your money, all that stuff is, is great. That stuff doesn't make you feel whole and complete. You having a great relationship with yourself is the only thing that makes you feel whole and complete. So please take time to prioritize yourselves and be good to yourselves.

Rose: 44:51

Thank you so much for being here today, Gina. This is a good thing. My pleasure, Rose. Great conversation so much for having me. Yeah, thanks. Thank you for sharing this sacred time with me today. If today's episode resonated with you, I'd be so grateful if you'd share it with a friend who might need these gentle reminders. And speaking of support, your reviews help other women find our community. So please take a moment to leave one wherever you listen to podcasts. Ready to go deeper? Visit rosewippage.com to explore my personalized healing sessions, courses, and workshops. Until next time, remember, you are exactly where you need to be.